~WL Week 1 Talk~

I was astounded the other day at the library checking out my books when a friend walked by asking how my Christmas went. I forgot about her question, completely distracted by how different she looked. I hadn't seen her in a few months, but really she looks so much younger and is 35lbs slimmer!

What struck me wasn't really how different she looked. I was affected more that she, Mrs. Workhard, looked slim, and it was ok. She didn't look like she was showing off or trying to get attention, she was just so excited that she had such relief in her knees. Most weight loss programs have a perfectly fit half dressed babe on the cover. I know full well that I will never look like that and I have over the years struggled with the fear of drawing attention to myself or my body. As I watched Mrs Workhard walk away, in her black bonnet and Mennonite dress, I mused. Weight loss isn't always for a bikini body and to look hot. I don't understand why I put those things together like that. It's almost embarrassing. Why can't things be just what they are? Lose the extra baggage so you're not wearing your body out sooner than necessary, what you look like is beside the point.

Bottom line: motivation. Why do I want to loose weight? Is it for the right reasons? Am I afraid that it is for the wrong reasons? I don't feel like I care if I look younger. I have to say looking better is really high on my list, but isn't that thought out of habit? When I was younger it was for fashion's sake all the way. Now I'm an old married woman and fashion is really low on my list of priorities.
And there isn't anything wrong with looking nice! Or slim. I'm not trying to be competitive to my overweight friends and family. I have my own reasons, my own motives, that have nothing to do with bikinis, beaches or babes.

 I don't know if it is psychological but I sure have felt strain in my knees here lately - maybe just because Mrs. Workhard talked about her knees? I have digestive issues that are very annoying. My mother has several weight related health issues. The thought of thinking twice about dropping to the floor to play with my grandbabies because I'm too fat makes me so mad! Yes, it's a good idea to get to business on this project.

All is well, I just got back from my 20 minute walk in 5 degree weather! I am on the right track!