WeightLoss~The Talk

This is hard to do. I'm 44 and talking publicly about the journey I am about to embark on. I've been chubby all my life and you can guess what happened after having 6 babies. I had a terrible thought last night at a friend's house as my littlest was on the floor playing. He needed help with one of the toys: that meant I would need to get down on the floor...I decided against it, it was too much trouble, it was going to make me feel uncomfortable, my knees would hurt. Oh my Lord, and I don't even have grand babies yet, I'm only 44! Would 35 lbs be enough to change this? Oh, I've got to try and try my hardest!

 I have been wanting to do this for a while but health issues and then the holidays took priority. Now that the holidays and most birthdays are out of the way I feel like I am ready to take loosing weight seriously, and to blog about it!

 It's complicated, as all weight loss stories probably are and it isn't just going to be a: I quit drinking pop and lost 25 lbs...No ma'am. We eat a healthy diet 90% clean although too much and too rich no doubt. And I am sure that if I quit eating I would loose weight, I actually have tried that and had no energy to take care of my responsibilities; 6 kids remember? So why am I over weight? What is going to work? What have I not tried and (oh, fright) why will it be different this time?
So, I have tried many programs and in the process I've learned several things about myself.

1) I am addicted to the new. I have amazing fortitude when it comes to trying new ideas and being faithful to the end. My husband is the same way. This is good and bad, you know. Good to be able to support each other in understanding and then bad to encourage each other to take the new-thing-jump...again. So I also became addicted to new diets and ways to torture my body!

2) I believe that most people's weight problems are emotional. Mine is! We are holding on to the fat for support, protection, etc. each person has a custom fitted fat glove. What makes you fat won't be your sisters reason. Oh, sure I also think that the tendency to gain weight runs in the family ( both my mom and sister are overweight) like nervousness does or quick temper can. And it could very well be learned habits of dealing with stress ( called by some as "I am craving" or "I need comfort food" - outlawed phrases in my house). And to me, an expert on dieting and extreme food-denial syndromes, that is why every diet works and doesn't! And when you do find something that works, why do we stop!

3) Exercise. General health. If I don't feel good, I don't care. I'm not going to go and look for ways to expend more energy. Exercise? That almost feels stupid! I am an active housewife! I run up and down the stairs doing laundry, keeping the house clean, cooking 3 meals a day, directing kid traffic.
Truth: my hobbies, especially in the winter, are sit down ones mostly except for marathon gardening  (consisting of maybe 10 times a year). I have 6 children that are running all errands for me (they need to learn to be helpful, right?). I don't even walk to the mailbox or to the barn hardly anymore. I can stand in one spot and wave my arms while children run right and left doing all the mad dashing I used to do when they were younger and less helpful. We have water and electric to the barn: I used to haul all the water to the animals and clean out the barn too. Goodness knows I used to mow the lawn!
 I used to eat more and weigh less.

Now does exercise sound stupid? Sluggishly I move rolly-polly into the next era of my life. It "snuck up" on me those first 20lbs. Then overwhelmed by financial stress (although apparently we had plenty to eat!) I packed on 10 more. I am not old and 35lbs is not a vast amount compared to some (I have heard: if only that's all I had to loose). My thought is: don't wait a minute longer, now, get moving and lets find the tools to get this job done. 

I'm not going to put a time limit on my project, I do have the rest of my life. Well, that could mean a license to fool around or a release from self implied pressure ( I don't want to set myself up for failure before I start).

I had a good talk with my partner in crime yesterday. He said he'd join me...here goes, wish us well.